How to Get Out of a Negative Mind Loop

Last night:

The clock reads 1:42 am and I roll over so I can't see the clock. I am exhausted but the moment that I get even a little close to passing out, I starting thinking about a negative situation that obviously there is nothing that I can do to fix at now 2:05 am. Multiple scenarios replay in my head over and over. I suffer from onset insomnia, but usually I am able to overcome and fall asleep. Tonight is different; I am emotionally beat up and I can't turn off my mind.  I know that this is unhealthy and toxic, but what to do? 

Today, understandably I am VERY tired, but now in a more conscious state I am reflecting on how to stop negative thought patterns. Ideally it's best to stop these thoughts before they happen, but who's kidding who? Once I was there, I couldn't get out. My initial research has uncovered the following Steps:

Find a distraction - Sounds simple enough. I find working out to be one of the best distractions, plus it boosts endorphins. However at night picking up another hobby that is less active might be a good solution. Read a book, work on an art piece. I did also read that screens disrupt sleep signals, so checking your email or watching tv may not aid in sleep but will distract.

Write down your thoughts - Sometimes just getting thought on paper is enough to let a thought rest. Also it allows you to let go and address later. Just acknowledge how you feel and explore possible solutions. Some things you can't change, but you can change how you feel about them.

List 5 things you are grateful for - Really think about each thing and WHY you are grateful. Really think about each thing until you feel it.

Focus on breathing and being in the moment - Much easier than said, HOWEVER once mastered goes a long way of controlling thought. I also occasionally get migraines. In order to not focus on the pain, I started to focus on deep breaths. Take in a long deep inhalation and slowly let it out. imagine the air filling your lungs. Then starting from your toes, think about each body part relaxing. If your mind wanders, go back to your breath and start again.

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Foundation for Happiness

Many theories exist, that try to explain the basis for happiness. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs offers a very basic path to self-actualization (aka Happiness). In the simplest interpretation, you need a roof over your head, should be out of danger, have friends, get promoted, and accept your self and voilà you are happy. Simple, right?  (Keep reading below, lovely graphic).

 

In the previous post, I mentioned the idea of focus. While the above formula explains the 'what to do' doesn't establish 'how'. Start by focusing on what could be considered to be a privilege. In the beginning of the book, "The Happiness Advantage" by Shawn Achor, he discusses how if something is viewed a privilege verse and obligation, that person is much more satisfied. This is true for looking at your: health, home, relationships, career, and even being grateful to yourself for where you are today. While being grateful isn't a formula, it will change the lens through which you see the world. What are you grateful for today? 

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How to be Happy

Truth be told, this title is a little misleading; there is not an exact formula to be happy. This is a declaration of discovery and a personal experiment that I want to share. Every person has their own road that will lead to nirvana. The choice of 'road' is either an active or passive choice, but it is a choice. While there are things in life that our outside of our control, we do have influence over how we let these things make us feel. Changing thoughts and habits can be difficult to do, but can be done even in very small steps. Sometimes it's as simple as changing focus on what you are thinking about. What do you change your focus to?

Happiness is defined as:
"Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy"  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happiness

"Glad" is a little different - it is both an adjective and a verb. It is both being very happy about something and willing to take action. I like the word - "I am glad that you came and I am glad to help"

The concept and definition of Happiness is incredibly vague, but if I were to try and sum up my personal definition, I would say that it is a positive feeling of well being. While there is no exact formula for happiness, the field of positive psychology has made many strides toward identifying, through scientific study, indicators that contribute toward ones positive since of well being. Some of these indicators include:

• Psychological well being - Emotional balance 
• Health 
• Social support - Your network of friends, family, and community 
• Standard of Living (how you perceive this) 

These topics are broad, but there are specific and actionable steps that you can take every day to improve these areas of your life and thus improve YOUR happiness. I am not a psychologist, just a normal person trying to improve how I feel and share what I find. I want to encourage you to also share what you discover too. Please join me on this road of discovery and chose to be glad.