The Perfect Date - Pick a Day Just for You

Pick at random one day a month per month for the next four months. Mark these days on your calendar. Plan something special just for you! Certain activities are known to scientifically boost your levels of happiness. Some of these things include exercise, learning something new, engaging in creativity, and meditation. So on the days that you have set aside for yourself, consider choosing an activity that will boost your mental state. Here are a few ideas:

• Go hiking 
• Dance class (double boost - music and exercise)
• Sign up for a class - Make it an art class and you can get some creativity in and learn something new
• Yoga 
• Get a massage 
• Color in a coloring book while watching a tv show
• Research something that you would like to make and make it

These are just a few ideas. The point is really to just schedule some time for yourself and follow through. Once you plan something and do all the work of deciding what you want to do, it's much easier to execute when the day comes. The hustle and bustle of daily life makes it easy to forget to engage in the freedom that we work towards. Meaning all work and no play will make you miserable. It's common sense, but common sense is not always common practice.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/tazmobile/3687255797/

Dream a Dream, Then Make it Happen

Take a moment to think about a goal or a dream that you would love to see become a reality. Write it down and really think about it. What does this dream look like? How would your life be different? What would change about how you are currently living your life?

Dreams don't need to be life altering. It could be as simple as traveling more or engaging more with the community. Once you have a dream, what are some steps that you can take today to start making that dream a reality in your life? To make dreams a reality, you can't be a passive observer. Instead, be an active participant! If you don't choose what path you want to go down, some one else will. No action is also a decision. Choose today, one thing that you can do that will take you one step closer to achieving your dream.







 

3 Ways to Live the Life You're Meant To

Be True to YOU! and Live the Life You Want

Most routines are comforting, increase will-power, and can builds habits. What if that routine is reinforcing bad habits or becomes TOO routine? We all have the same 24 hours in the day, but how many of us use the free time that we have to move toward our ideal selves? Aligning our ideals to our reality is more about getting on the correct path and less about dramatic life changes. 5 steps that you can start today to help with the day-to-day.  Define what you want, set goals, create accountability, learn when to say yes (and when to say no), and do the work.

Define What is Important to You 

Jack of all trade, but master of none. If you do a little bit of everything, you will probably not make significant progress in anything. What do you really want? What are your dreams? If you are not building your dream you are probably building someone elses. You can look at these questions in a broad sense and then dissect your answers further. I suggest writing some thoughts down and seriously explore the values that you want to incorporate into your daily life.

Set Goals 

The best goals that you can give yourself are ones that are specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, and time bound, otherwise known as SMART Goals. Take the values that you defined in the previous set and think about how you can take that value and make it actionable. For me both health and creativity are important to me, so I have set goals related to these values. Here are a couple of examples: lose 7lbs in the next 30 days or Complete a Painting to Show First Friday. After you set a goal, make a plan. Break out the steps needed to complete your plan.

Create Accountability 

Will power is a proven limited resource. Call it human nature or whatever you want, but changing a habit or routine is difficult. One way to stay on track is to have systems to hold yourself accountable. Tell friends your goal; shoot, maybe they have a similar goal and you can cross the finish line together. One reason that Weight Watchers is so successful, is that you have to be weighed in every week. It's not that their plan is SO revolutionary, but having that progress (or lack there of) on paper.   

Additional Resources:

http://www.mindtools.com/page6.html 

http://archive-goals.performance.gov/goals_2013

http://smokefree.gov/goal-setting-eating-physical-activity

http://www.chalenejohnson.com/goals/10-accountability-tools/

Breathe Happy and How Breathing Influences Emotions

One of our most basic needs as human beings is breathing. This may sound like an obvious statement, but to anyone who has suffered from an anxiety attack or asthma, they know in that moment all you can think about is breathing. In day-to-day life, to most people the imbalance in our breathing pattern may be less pronounced, but still affects us all the same.  Breathing impacts cardiovascular, nervous, endocrine, lymph, immune, digestive, and of course, respiratory systems. It's easy to forget about our automatic systems, but in just the action of thinking about breathing we have the ability to control it. By being able to control our breathing patterns, we can use this to help control mood.

Take a deep breath - Inhale for three seconds, hold it for three, and exhale for three. Repeat this for a minute. How do you feel? This basic pattern of deep breathing will leave you feeling relaxed while having a sense of clarity. This is balanced breathing; and equal inhalation and exhalation.

Now think about a time you were anxious or angry. Has your pattern of breathing changed? Anxiety in particular, causes most people to take in more oxygen, but not release as much carbon dioxide, resulting in sweaty palms, elevated heart rate and a toll on your immune system. How about when you are happy and laughing; how is your breathing? When you are laughing your body gulps in the air and helps raise the endorphin levels in your brain and increases the feelings of happiness.

What does all of this mean? A groundbreaking study (Respiratory feedback in the generation of emotion) in 2010 found evidence that while emotion can influence breathing patterns, the reverse can also be true. This means that if you are in a funk, feeling stressed, angry, or unfocused, - try controlled deep breathing.

Meditation and deep breathing go hand-in-hand. Honestly, for someone just starting out with deep breathing exercises, they might find a guided meditation to be helpful. There are several available on YouTube and audiobooks are also a good resource. One of my favorites is 'Meditations to Change Your Brain'. This book helped me in dealing with anxiety.
'Meditations to Change Your Brain' - Audible.com

Read More:

Breathing Exercises to Uplift Your Mood
The Art and Science of Breathing
Diaphragmatic Breathing and Health

3 Ways Music Can Boost Your Mood (or Reinforce it)

Scientists are learning more everyday about the impact that music has over our moods, wellbeing, and motivation. A song can just as easily make us sad as it can make us happy.  Here are three ways you can use music to boost your mood.

Sing in the Shower

Or anywhere - sing in your car, at karaoke, or at a concert. The physical activity of singing connects you to the music and reverberates throughout the body. Performing music also brings you into the present by allowing you to just focus on what you are singing. An article in the International Journal of Yoga, talks about how 'OM' chanting affects nerve stimulation - Who is to say that when we sing a similar effect doesn't happen?   Neurohemodynamic correlates of ‘OM’ chanting: A pilot functional magnetic resonance imaging study

Create a 'Happy' Playlist

When you are feeling a little down or the weather outside is dreary, play some of your favorite tunes. If you don't have a good mood playlist put together, you can create one on Spotify or here are a couple of links to other people's lists to get you started. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/05/happy-music-playlist_n_4730218.html

http://8tracks.com/fangirlist/come-on-get-happy

https://www.stereomood.com/mood/happy#

Focus on the Mood You Want 

May sound too simple, but a recent study (Trying to be happier really can work: Two experimental studies) shows that happiness can be improved in as little as two weeks just by thinking about being happier. Specifically while listening to happy music. The study (link above), said that the participants who actually were thinking about being happier while listening to positive music, showed improvement in mood. However if listening to lower tempo music while trying to improve mood, there wasn't a positive change in the mood.  

How to Get Out of a Negative Mind Loop

Last night:

The clock reads 1:42 am and I roll over so I can't see the clock. I am exhausted but the moment that I get even a little close to passing out, I starting thinking about a negative situation that obviously there is nothing that I can do to fix at now 2:05 am. Multiple scenarios replay in my head over and over. I suffer from onset insomnia, but usually I am able to overcome and fall asleep. Tonight is different; I am emotionally beat up and I can't turn off my mind.  I know that this is unhealthy and toxic, but what to do? 

Today, understandably I am VERY tired, but now in a more conscious state I am reflecting on how to stop negative thought patterns. Ideally it's best to stop these thoughts before they happen, but who's kidding who? Once I was there, I couldn't get out. My initial research has uncovered the following Steps:

Find a distraction - Sounds simple enough. I find working out to be one of the best distractions, plus it boosts endorphins. However at night picking up another hobby that is less active might be a good solution. Read a book, work on an art piece. I did also read that screens disrupt sleep signals, so checking your email or watching tv may not aid in sleep but will distract.

Write down your thoughts - Sometimes just getting thought on paper is enough to let a thought rest. Also it allows you to let go and address later. Just acknowledge how you feel and explore possible solutions. Some things you can't change, but you can change how you feel about them.

List 5 things you are grateful for - Really think about each thing and WHY you are grateful. Really think about each thing until you feel it.

Focus on breathing and being in the moment - Much easier than said, HOWEVER once mastered goes a long way of controlling thought. I also occasionally get migraines. In order to not focus on the pain, I started to focus on deep breaths. Take in a long deep inhalation and slowly let it out. imagine the air filling your lungs. Then starting from your toes, think about each body part relaxing. If your mind wanders, go back to your breath and start again.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/timothykrause/5891994729/

Foundation for Happiness

Many theories exist, that try to explain the basis for happiness. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs offers a very basic path to self-actualization (aka Happiness). In the simplest interpretation, you need a roof over your head, should be out of danger, have friends, get promoted, and accept your self and voilà you are happy. Simple, right?  (Keep reading below, lovely graphic).

 

In the previous post, I mentioned the idea of focus. While the above formula explains the 'what to do' doesn't establish 'how'. Start by focusing on what could be considered to be a privilege. In the beginning of the book, "The Happiness Advantage" by Shawn Achor, he discusses how if something is viewed a privilege verse and obligation, that person is much more satisfied. This is true for looking at your: health, home, relationships, career, and even being grateful to yourself for where you are today. While being grateful isn't a formula, it will change the lens through which you see the world. What are you grateful for today? 

Download The Happiness Advantage! Free with membership to Audible.com